This Week I Will Be Mostly... With a New Category!

...wearing black. Not for any reason, I just noticed I have a good bit of clean black clothes, and I like clean.
...reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I give myself this week to finish it.
...watching nothing. Really - I've got to get that book read, and I want to spend some time on my bike, too.
...listening to calming music. I'm not stressed, but I think I might be getting a cold, so I want to Zen-out my immune system.
...eating lentils. As soon as Garden Cove has green lentils back in stock. Oh! And chia seeds! I found some, and they are wicked cool! As soon as they touch anything wet, they make this little gel-cocoon. It's weird, but neat - and since they are even healthier than flax seeds, and more easily digestible, I'm down with that.
...shopping for nutritional yeast flakes and hemp protein powder.  I might also look into spirulina and maca. We'll see.
...praying about the new church I visited last night.  It was very interesting, vibrant, and it seems to be another possibility for a church home.

Please let me know if you have a prayer request!

(Lolli)Pop Psychology

My sister and I had a conversation this morning about color.  Certain female members of our family are known to get fixated on a color or two, and then completely drench their homes with it. Which is not intrinsically a bad thing - I mean, it's your house - color it how you want it! I think she and I were just commenting on how color variety, especially around a home, can also be quite nice.  The conversation made me start thinking about the colors that I love and am known to associate with.  I've lately become widely affiliated with orange, which is funny since it had been a color I really despised (especially while I was in high school, where our colors were orange and brown - two of my favorite colors now).  The psychology of colors has always been intriguing to me, so I decided to revisit the concept in search of some answers about what my favorite colors say about me, or at least how they are purported to make me feel.

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ORANGE: According to the website Suite 101, orange is associated with warmth, enthusiasm, and exuberance. It’s a lively color, associated with Halloween and Thanksgiving. Orange isn’t as intense as red because it’s blended with the cheeriness of yellow.

Orange has been touted as one of America’s least favorite colors, perhaps because it’s been associated with arrogance, danger, and overemotion. Orange is used to draw attention – such as the caution signal on a traffic light.

BLUE:  Blue is associated with spirituality, thought, and melancholy. It’s also connected to calmness, cleanliness, and wisdom. When you feel blue or “have the blues”, you’re usually a little sad for the moment – but the blues are fleeting. This color is thought to be an appetite suppressant, because blue isn’t a natural color for fruit, vegetables, or meat (even blueberries are more purple than blue).

Blue colors have the opposite effect of red colors. That is, blue causes a decrease in breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure. It’s a subduing, cool color that can appear peaceful, but may also seem sad.

(Also from Suite 101)

BROWN: The website Squidoo offers this information about brown:
 It is a natural color that evokes a sense of strength and reliability. Brown can also create feelings of sadness and isolation.  Brown brings to mind feeling of warmth, comfort, and security. It is often described as natural, down-to-earth, and conventional, but brown can also be sophisticated.

So, I can take from this that I'm an attention-seeking, melancholy person who tends to feel isolated, but craves warmth, comfort, and security. Yup! That just about says it all!

Good: 2, Evil: 2

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Today has been a challenging day for me so far, willpower-wise.  Lunchtime will be that way, I suppose.  Many of my different selves were warring with each other.  The first battle was while standing in line at Piccadilly. (It is Piccadilly Tuesday, for the thus uninformed.) They were serving a golden-fried butterfly filleted chicken breast with a light and lovely-looking mushroom sauce.  Right away, I think to myself, Mmmm...that looks so good. Compassionate Me pipes up right away: "No! No meat! You're here to get a veggie plate and nothing else!" Still-present Callous Me rebuffs: "Don't listen! That chicken looks delicious! Boy, you sure picked a dumb time of your life to be a vegetarian! Couldn't you have waited until you were like, 80, or something?"
Compassionate Me: "No! You're doing the right thing! Those chickens were certainly factory farmed! Poor things! And imagine how grossed out you'll be if you come across a vein or a tendon while you're eating!"
Callous Me: "Eh, shut up. Chickens don't have feelings, really. Besides, no one will see you, and no one has to know...."
Compassionate Me: "Do I have to remind you of the Meet Your Meat video again? How many times do you need to see chickens being de-beaked or violently thrown across a farmyard for you to get this through your head?"
Well, at the mention of the video, I caved.  Or rather, I didn't cave.  Score 1 for Compassionate Me. I had a veggie plate, just like I had originally intended.
The next battle was of Frugal Me vs. Extravagant Me.  I've been wanting a bottle of black nail polish since last Thursday (I know, an eternity, right?), and I had been continually having to remind myself that I don't need it.  I've got to be very economical now that I'm going back to school; I should only be buying the things I really need.  But before I can swing out of the restaurant, Extravagant Me has fully taken charge, and is marching me down to Trade Secret for a bottle of OPI Black Onyx. She has her hand tightly over Frugal Me's mouth - who can be heard mumbling weakly.  Frugal Me is such a weakling, by the way. She's gonna have to go to an assertiveness training class if I'm ever going to survive my Therapeutic Massage program.  Well, at the register, the deed having been done, the cashier complements my ring, and asks me if I got it at the new store in the mall - Charming Charlie. When I tell her no, she informs me that it is the most amazing accessory store. My pulse quickens, and I feel Frugal Me starting to faint. And that's when Fat Girl Me stepped in: she decided that Frugal Me would feel much better if she ate a brownie.  And she was mostly right.  Fat Girl Me really enjoyed that unnecessary brownie from the Great American Cookie Company.  Score 0 for Skinny Girl Me.
On the way back from said ruinous brownie, Frugal Me was just getting her strength back when Extravagant Me walked past the aforementioned Charming Charlie.  This time, as I passed the windows gleaming with rack after rack of brightly colored baubly necklaces, chunky bracelets, huge fake rings, and leathery purses, Extravagant Me and I were holding each other and weeping. "Just one little peep," we promised each other.  I practically ran over to a display of brown-ish sparkly rings.  I was breathless.  Frugal Me, clearly on a sugar high from the brownie, shouted, "OUT!!!! OUT OF THIS STORE!!! NOW!!!!" Fine, Fine.  So I put it back, and walked sheepishly with my head down.  I may need to take an extra job just for accessories money, now.  Thanks alot, MALL.
So if you lost count, here's the final score:
Compassionate Me: 1                                         Callous Me: 0
Frugal Me: 1                                                       Extravagant Me: 1
Skinny Girl Me: 0                                                Fat Girl Me: 1

This Week I Will Be Mostly... a day late...

This week I Will Be Mostly...

...wearing clothes that I have lain out the night before. Trying to save time in the morning!

...reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. My fSIL and I have started our own little book club.

...watching the last episode on disc 3, season 2 of Little House on the Prairie, and then I won't be watching anything else this week.

...listening to Gregorian chants. I'm working on Christian meditation.
...eating some whole grains -gotta round this green smoothie out.

...shopping for chia seeds and hemp powder. I still haven't found them. Also, I've looked up and down for canned pumpkin - I guess when the grocery stores finally do stock it, I'll have to buy enough to last me the whole year. 

This Week I Will Be Mostly...

...wearing comfortable shoes. Grocery shopping in heels threw my hips all outta whack.
...reading the last bit of Eat Pray Love. Then it's back to Byron Katie.
...watching not much; the last episode of Community I haven't seen, maybe.
...listening to calming music. I'm feeling the Billie Holiday right now.
...eating/drinking Jealousy. Not intended to be a double entendre, but it is, I think.
...shopping for a spiralizer, maybe a mincer, chia seeds, and canned pumpkin.

Hospital Food: You've Come a Long Way, Baby

The green beans and the carrots were actually LABELED as being vegan!! (clearly, the Mac & Cheese is not) That is crazy rare, and I was impressed by the loveliness of this simple fare. Simple graces.

Jealousy and Salt

a.k.a. The recipe for a good smoothie and a good evening, respectively

I am still violently in love with our new blender, Vera. And I have been so proud for people to see my/Richard's beautiful green smoothies and say yuck! Because we're scamming them. Truly, the color of the green is so beautiful that I don't know why people aren't snatching them out of our hands and guzzling them down themselves - or at least taking them to Home Depot to use as a sample for the color they would like for their bathrooms.  Anyway, the scam is, we're getting the leafy greens that all of us desperately need, but don't feel like eating, in a drink so delicious that you would never guess had spinach and other good stuff in it.  I'm telling you, Smoothie King is charging $5 for the same stuff that we get for around $1 from home.  And we know that absolutely none of it is processed, unlike Smoothie King, where you are not 100% in control of what goes into your cup.  Whoopee!  So this is where Jealousy comes in to play.  I am haphazardly busy creating recipes for smoothies of my own, and I've come across one recipe in particular that I'm really crazy about.  And being the word nerd that I am, each drink has a name, and so far, each name is a play on words.  Hence, this favorite green drink of mine is named Jealousy!
If you are feeling adventurous, here is the recipe:

Voila! Green Goodness!

• 1/2 to 1 cup water
• 1 cup green grapes
• 1 to 2 cups fresh baby-ish spinach leaves
• 1/2 cup cilantro leaves
• 1 banana, torn into 3 segments
• 1/2 Fuji apple (optional)
• ice as desired (optional)
• Hemp or other protein powder as desired (optional)

Add the ingredients in the order listed - okay, you might want to dump the protein powder after the grapes - and if you're working with a Vitamix, go from variable 1 to 10 quickly, and then go to high. Blend for 30-50 seconds.  

If you add a milk/whey based protein powder, it might affect the flavor, but I'm not sure - I'm trying to keep my green smoothies as vegan as possible. 

Now for the salt aspect: 

I have become a recent convert to Epsom salts.  I had a painful Swedish massage a few weeks ago at the start of a detox, and afterwards the masseur told me to make sure I took an Epsom salt bath that evening, which I was all too happy to do.  For whatever reason, I had a large bag of Lavender-scented Epsom salts already on hand.  Now, being the ingredient reader that I am, I had read the back label of the salt bag to see what it actually was (magnesium sulfate), and then after the bath Googled "benefits of an Epsom salt bath." You can find my favorite but altogether standard answer to that query here, but the long and short of it is that we don't really get enough Magnesium in our diets, AND we don't absorb it very well in our stomach and intestines, but GUESS WHAT!?! We absorb it very well through our SKIN!!! You'd be surprised at all Magnesium does when you get it in proper proportions - not the least of which is makes you feel better.  

All that to say, the other night I declared a "Baths and Books" night, sparked in part by Eat Pray Love, which I have embarked upon at the behest of my future sister-in-law who wants me to have read in time for our visit next week, so that we can go see it in the movie theater.  I drew a lovely Epsom salt bath, texted said Sister-in-Law, and then had a lovely reading session.  It was the recipe for a truly lovely evening.  All that was missing was a green smoothie. Cheers!

See, This is Why I Have One

Why is it that I always feel the need to impress my therapist? Like he's going, Hmm... She didn't straighten her hair this morning - clearly unstable. Or, My that blouse looks wrinkly - did she pull it straight out of the dryer and slap it on? (Yes, yes I did.) Perhaps we need to increase her dosage... 
I'm pondering this as I get ready to put on the highest heels that I own to sit with old Judgey Judgerson for 15 minutes! It's FRIDAY for crying out loud! And I am up to nothing else important today! Yet I will go trudging along to my husband's school, and Wolf Camera, and whatever else I'm doing all in heels because I'm afraid Dr. Bemused Grin with his Steno Notebook of Critical Observations will look disapprovingly upon me showing up in flip-flops.

Inspiration: Operation Beautiful

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To every woman who has ever felt unworthy

To every woman who has ever felt lonely

To every woman who has ever wondered, “Am I beautiful?”

To every woman who has compared herself to another

To every woman who has asked herself, “Why me?”

To every woman who has ever been lied to

To every woman who is struggling

To every woman who is crying

To every woman who is empty

To every woman who is searching for an answer

Take this.

From a woman who has experienced the deepest low and soared at the highest heights

From a woman who has questioned everything

From a woman who has discovered her beauty

From this woman to you.

From inside your heart, beauty blossoms.

From inside your soul, love dwells.

From inside your mind, wisdom emerges.

From the inside, your beauty shines.

Love your body for all it can do, love your body for all it has done.

Never forget how far you have come, and always remember how far you will go.

Click here, pass on the love.

The dates are a bit off, I realize, but the poem is inspiring nonetheless.  I definitely teared up towards the end.  I have certainly struggled with self-esteem and a seemingly genetic predisposition towards low self-worth, and it's nice to know not only do others fight that battle, but that someone is actively striving to get us all involved in changing it. Beauty is not a number on the scale, or even a reflection in the mirror.  It's not a size on a clothing tag.  There's an antiquated saying that my grandmother actually  used on me as a child: "Pretty is as pretty does."  Nothing could be more true.And I need reminding everyday.  

Trust

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In my lunchtime blog trollings, I have stumbled across some pretty great sites.  A friend directed me to the Green Monster movement after I posted a picture of our new pet family member, Vera  Vitamix , holding her first kale smoothie, which led me to Oh She Glows, (quite inspirational, especially for a new-ish vegetarian like myself), which finally led me to Operation Beautiful (and also Clean Eats in the Dirty South, but that comes later).   And somewhere along the way I found this lovely quote, which has been on my mind since I found it. I'm not sure what my own answer is to the question - what would I do if I knew that I could not fail? My first thought went to crazy career choices - I could become a singer! I could do voices on cartoons! Okay, so those are kindof easy ones to answer.   The one that gets a bit too personal are the health/fitness possibilities: if I knew, without a doubt, that every pound I tried to lose would come off, that all my efforts at healthy eating would have real, measurable results in the end, how much harder would I try? That certainly puts things into perspective for me.  Because if I just let go of my anxieties about the outcome and just went for it, I could accomplish what I'm after. It is possible.  As per usual, this comes down to a faith issue.  If I would truly cast all my cares upon the Lord and put ALL of my faith in His guidance of my life, my issues would cease to be my issues.  Well, life is short, but that's what I'm striving for! That never-ending quest to be more like Jesus - to empty myself of me, and fill myself with Him.  "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord. He is like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and it is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8
Hey! I can relate to that! Be like a river tree! Maybe it's time to pull out the kayak and go for an object-lesson ride down the Flint...

This Week I Will Be Mostly...

...wearing my Hyperbole shirt

...reading Dominion by Matthew Scully 

...watching season 2 of Friends on DVD

...listening to Mute Math on Pandora

...eating my fruits & veggies smoothie style! 

...shopping for rare spices  Garam masala, anyone? 

I'm Not Sure How to Interpret This...

I dreamt last night that I hadn't finished trimming my nails.  

Does this mean that I'm in a wonderfully healthy state - so much so that my brain has worked absolutely everything out and untrimmed nails (only two, mind you) are the chiefest of my troubles?

Or am I just that boring these days? 

UPDATE: The next night I had a dream about the dairy industry, a horse I owned that I was worried about surviving in the heat in the back of my fictitious truck, and other random stuff. Clearly things are back to weirdness normal.