My Attempt at (a) Meme

Hello Bloggers!
Yes, I am still alive. What with the finishing my Master's, starting a new job, etc., I've been overwhelmed. But I still think of you often. :)
So, as I have been lurking around interesting grammar-related blogs, I stumbled across a meme that I wanted to perpetuate (in the nature of memes). I found this one from Lynn at 2 Girls & Plastic who took it from someone else...
(I am sick right now and this is subject to editing when I am feeling normal again.)

Here goes:

1. My uncle once: Let me drive his boat, which was steered by a tiller. And being the beautifully coordinated person that I am, I couldn't master the steer-left-turn-right concept, and I almost crashed us into a boathouse. BTW, I was 13-ish, not 5.
2. Never in my life: have I done pot or any other illegal drug. I'm going to brag about that one, because I'd like to believe that's an elite group. And while I didn't have the exposure that many other kids have, I still had the opportunity. (My first college roommate always told me she was "packing the next bowl" for me.)
3. When I was five: I was going through some major dethronement issues with the birth of my sister. Little did I know then, it was one of the best things that could have happened to me.
4. High school was: Wonderfully awful. I had all of the normal "I-hate-my-life-I hate-my parents-I-hate-the world" teen angst, but I also had a really amazing best friend with whom I can still laugh about all of our adventures.
5. I will never forget: the feeling that washed over me when my now-husband was baptized. I literally fell to my knees. I can't describe the amazing feeling of peace and joy that I experienced at that moment. It was the most heavenly moment of my life thus far.
6. Once I met: Carrot Top. I know, that's super lame. I've sighted several other celebrities (e.g. Richard Belzer, Robin Williams, Rebecca Romijn), but CT's the only one I've actually met. He was wandering around our local airport (alone!) waiting for his luggage. I guess (hope) he was doing a gig here.
7. There’s this girl I know: I just don't know how to answer this one! I know lots of great gals.
8. Once, at a bar: I have nothing for this one, sorry. I've been to a bar, like, six times, and nothing unusual happened. I'm not a bar kind of person.
9. By noon, I’m usually: debating on whether or not I should eat the lunch I brought with me and write some reports, or go out and get something. zzzzzz, I know.
10. Last night: My sweet husband got chinese food and medicine for me, of which I consumed both and crashed early. I still believe I will be miraculously well by this afternoon.
11. If only I had: the true desire and money to afford a raw vegan lifestyle. I'd be soooo much healthier. I know they say you can eat vegan cheaply, but apparently not where I'm from. Not with any variety, anyway.
12. Next time I go to church: will be this Sunday. I'm a regular attendee, and I believe in God's plan for a church family, even though I am struggling with mine right now. Prayers, please.
13. What worries me most: is bringing a child into a country/world that I believe is increasingly morally/physically dangerous. It's one thing to worry about that when you've already got a child, and something else when you desperately want a child, but don't want to have it only to have it be damaged in any way. Sometimes I feel selfish for wanting children. And I hate that feeling.
14. When I turn my head left I see: the 2-foot Eiffel Tower that brings je ne se qua to the kitchen.
15. When I turn my head right I see: The Geico commercial reference that my brother in-law left on the chalkboard several months ago.
16. You know I’m lying when: I give you WAY WAY too much information. The only catch is, you'll have to differentiate between that and the WAY too much information I normally give any other time I'm talking. Luckily, I don't lie often, or I'd never shut up.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: my weight. And maybe the Smurfs, but that's it.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: any one of the melodramatic ingenues that grace his pages.
19. By this time next year: I hope to have finished my certification for speech pathology, gotten a bit healthier, and be pregnant.
20. A better name for me would be: I'm not sure, but I've never been completely comfortable in my own name or its variations. I would prefer to go by my initials, or my last name (without the Mrs. stuff), or simply, "Word Girl."
21. I have a hard time understanding: American (media) culture's tolerance for anything but Christianity. Absolutely anything else is defended and protected, but let someone say they're a Christian, and the eye-rolling begins. This is really a larger issue than can be squeezed into this kind of format, but I'm just saying...
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: kill myself. JUST KIDDING! That's a bad question to ask me right after I've been "released." But I do think about it, and I'd like to either get a doctorate in Reading, or maybe some sort of degree in clinical pathology where you slice up organs and stuff. But I'm probably not smart enough for that. Oh! Music! I'd also like to get a degree in music.
23. You know I like you if: I stalk you. Not really. I wouldn't do that.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: the person who gave it to me! And after that, my husband, 'cause he puts up with alot when I get really involved in something.
25. Take my advice, never: make fun of my dog. It really makes me like you less. We get it, he's small. Ha ha ha.
26. My ideal breakfast is: actual breakfast and not something grabbed hastily out of guilt. Ideally, I would be eating at the Pancake Pantry in Gatlinburg.
27. A song I love but do not have is: "Alfie" by Lily Allen. It's catchy and it makes me laugh every time I listen to it, but I just can't bring myself to buy it.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: just visit the person you came to see. There's a few tourist-y things here, but they're overdone and cheesy unless it's something you are particularly into. Other than that, I'd suggest you go hiking. We've got some nice mountain trails.
29. Why won’t people: turn off the "Total Void" (thanks, Islands) and read a bit. The whole small-children-watching-hours-of-tv thing really chafes me. I work with kids who can hardly string a two-word sentence together, but if I show them a picture of a snail they shout, "That's Gary!" (or "Geh-wee", as the case may be.)
30. If you spend a night at my house: you most likely won't get to bed at a decent hour, but we will have some great discussions and possibly even sing a few ukulele tunes.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: this may be selfish, but I can't think of anything I would've stopped my wedding for, and I've thought of both good and bad scenarios. A death in the family, perhaps. Depends on the circumstances. I know that's not witty, but I was pretty determined to get married, so not much would have stopped us.
32. The world could do without: high fructose corn syrup.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: ummmm....the booty of a cockroach?
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: my sister. Who is only technically a blond right now, which I love, because I am all for anything that makes us look more like sisters. And, she makes a really nice brunette, too.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: brads. I guess. I'm not good at office-supply analogies, apparently, and my attempt to think of something concomitantly utterly useless and clever was fruitless.
36. If I do anything well it’s: sing, maybe? This is a self-esteem hit, because I feel like I do lots of things "okay," but "well"? I can't commit to it. Like it'll take my power away or something. I'm glad we're nearing the end here. I'm starting not to make much sense.
37. I can’t help but: stay up late reading even when I'm really tired.
38. I usually cry: frequently. I usually take it as more of a bad sign when I haven't cried in a while. It's worth noting that very happy or sweet things also really make me cry, so my frequent lacrimation is not a sign that I am a sad person.
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: Have a sense of humor and the world will be a better place; being a Christian is NOT about a list of do's and don'ts, it is having a real relationship with the Lord and loving Him enough to let Him guide you in love; and be kind. (All things I need to remember all the time as well.)
40. And by the way: I WILL be better by this afternoon.

If you have gotten this far, bless you. I'll get back to posting pictures again soon. Really, I will.